14 posts tagged “rant”

I'm just gonna loop Daniel Powter's Bad Day song for the rest of the day I think...

First I sleep during the day usually (usually aka my body changes my routine at will and meds don't control my sleep issues).  So I lay down... and bang bang bang bang on the front door.  Brian is half awake and goes to the front door, no one.  He's back asleep snoring within 1/2 hour, I had been nearly asleep when the banging occurred but was wide awake thanks to it.  Then pound pound pound on pretty much every wall in the apartment complex it sounded like.  Then even though there's virtually no yard here, it is yard maintenance day, leaf blower or something that sounds like a small jet engine crashing is going on and off outside.  Pretty soon my head starts feeling like it going to explode from all of the noises everywhere and I'd like to be deaf -- just for this morning.  BANG BANG BANG on door again.  Brian gets it.  Seems neighbor had plumbing probs, a different one this time.  Not the one over us (they fixed his but never checked out our nasty wall for the water damage) no the one next to us has kitchen sink probs.  So Monday at 9 am they have to come in and go through our wall or something... ugh.

Then I finally get quiet at noon - 1 pm.  We have plans to go to the mall to pay my bills at 4, to get coffee, groceries as there's no f00d in the house, and my seizure meds as I am out.  Fuck.  Ok I'll take a nap.  Finally sleep.  Brian wakes me up at 4:30'ish.  We go to leave... His car is dead again.  When he last replaced the battery he already knew it wasn't the battery, there's a more serious prob causing it to drain like mad.  But he's been busy with work, blah blah blah and like usual doesn't wanna deal with it (he doesn't care they don't come look at the wall because he's sure it's just rust and cosmetic and we'll move out in a few months, he doesn't care the only electic outlet in the kitchen doesn't work because he doesn't use it, and it's a pain when people come in here even though he'd be at work I'd be the one missing sleep and babysitting the cats in the room while they worked on it, etc).  And every time he replaces the battery or whatever it stops happening for awhile.  And now I'm just ranting and being bitchy about it on here and told him well you need to get it fixed, which I don't think he appreciated. A little over 3 hours sleep.  Go to car, his portable battery charged didn't get anything so he's saying no no let the portable battery charger charge a few more hours... ... ...

Oh and there's a sign on our building from the housing department saying they're entering the building Thursday at 11 for inspections.  Something about buildings built before the 70s that are used as rentals having to undergo mandatory lead level tests or some shit.  Which ok, good you look out for tenants... But I have two cats one that is TERRIFIED of people and Thursday at 11 I won't be here as they magically picked one of about 2-4 days a year I'm at the neurologist.  It takes months to get a new appointment, I'm having current issues, and hell it takes weeks to not get a busy signal at UCLA scheduling so I'm not rescheduling that and I have no one I can leave my cats with so wtf?

It's not a good day and it's not gonna be a good week with a 9 am Monday we're coming to tear through your wall neighbors having plumbling probs, the usually 8 hours of waiting at UCLA appointment, and the housing dept deciding to check for lead paint that day, no transportation, no food in the house, no coffee, can't go pay my bills, I'm pretty sure my trip to Hellboy is out of the picture this weekend, I'm doubting I'll see Batman anytime this year because when I keep mentioning we will have to pre-order tickets Brian basically ignores me. 

I'm bitchy for once.  *whine*

U.S. 'preparing the battlefield' in Iran.  Dear Bush administration.  STOP IT already.  Unless you're gonna personally sign up to go fight in all of these wars you think we need to be in, how about you give it a break.  I mean really we're low on military personnel and you're all gonna be out of jobs soon.  If you personally want to go fight these wars go for it but just stop it otherwise.  You're being jerkoffs.  Don't give me this history will prove me right later so I don't care what the whole damn world says NOW crap.  We don't want this shit and you starting yet another on your way out is just stupid.   Way to care about the US citizens and soldiers. But hey I'm sure we'll be welcomed with open arms and in and out in no time right? 

17 year old decapitated by coaster,  Ok so this kid apparently climbed two fences, one was over 6 feet tall to get into a restricted area of the park, areas clearly marked danger, stay out, employees only, etc.  And then gets struck by the fast moving Batman coaster.    Now I do feel sorry for this kid's family but you know what, sorry, he kind of asked for it and talk about endangering a ton of innocent people.   Some speculated he was trying to touch the ride... which would be so beyond stupid I don't even have words and hope that wasn't true.  But the latest stories online claim there was another boy with him who wasn't hurt and that he may  have been trying to retrieve a hat he lost on the ride...  um... uhhh... WOW.    So you ignore the danger, stay out signs, climb two fences and walk around under a 50mph speeding coaster that can hit you for a hat.  You didn't see the problem with this... TWO of you?  That's just about as stupid as wanting to touch the ride, gotta be honest. 

Now, I don't usually go on coasters like this one in particular due to my health issues, I'm concerned they'd really mess me up.  But I do go on some others (things like say Space Mountain for those of you who know it) they can still be fast, lots of turns, etc.  And I know THOSE rides advise you to store things like hats, or other "loose" items so you don't lose them and if you do they ask you to contact employees.  Now the truth is, if you lose a hat it's probably just gone.  When I wrote recently about my purse breaking at Disney and employees helping Brian to retrieve my lost Christopher Reeve tag, I may or may not have mentioned the bottom of that ride is littered with hats. Either way, you ASK an employee. 

Now in the case of the Superman ride that malfunctioned and took a girl's foot -- that's a whole different story, you don't expect that to be a risk, the park is responsible for keeping rides safe, etc.  But in this case -- this Batman ride -- OK STOP NAMING THESE RIDES AFTER SUPERHEROES PLEASE.... this kid risked his own life, the lives of the riders, as did his friend apparently.    Now his friend has to live with what he saw.  Others will have to live with it.  The riders of that ride have to live with it.  His family has to live with their loss.  And it's LUCKY that's all that happened.  I'm sure some would say I'm heartless for this one but I feel no sympathy for him... for his family and friends yes.  But as someone who goes on rides (as I said not ones like that one but still), it pisses me off he didn't have any consideration for anyone and put them all in danger for a stupid hat if that turns out to be true.

Hmm I'm curious what do you think makes a good "moral" person?  That little YouTube old school music search has me thinking...  One of the main reasons I take politics so seriously, if not the only reason, is that I get freaking offended at what people want to use politics for.  Yes, "old school" music search made me think of this...

When I was a "kid"  I listened to music that got us Parental Advisory warnings on Albums.  I listened to all kind of music really.  Cheesy pop, rock, and yeah rap.  Stuff that was "ruining" us kids.  That was "degrading" women (erm then why was I listening?).   Apparently it was causing, I don't know what?  Violence? Rape? Who knows...

If we allow people to listen to this, they'll be bad.  If we allow people to watch these movies before age 17 they'll be bad people.  If we let gays do anything, our culture will fall apart. 

Seriously, if we're not raping and killing and stealing and causing people to live in fear and instead are just generally respecting people who the hell cares?  I did so many things or just supported things that "they" would want gone, banned, stick labels on, and would claim would make me a bad person.  Yet I don't think I am. If anything, I think someone judging me based on the last song I listened to, the last movie I watched, the last book I read, or the fact that I support things like gays getting married --- that's bad, that's immoral.  Hating me, telling me I'm evil, spewing all of this crap about how *I* am the cause of all that is wrong with society as I try to give back while having nothing myself.  Ignoring that I try to care for everyone - even "them"... that's wrong.  Am I 100% right? Hell no, no one is.  But I do feel more right than those who continuously go out there telling me how wrong everything I've ever done or supported is.

You know, now that I'm over the initial w00t, political geek aspect of Obama being called as our Dem nominee, I almost wanna cry over how historic this is.

Clearly I'm not black.  I can't pretend to understand the race aspect.  To look at me I'm about as white as they come.  That's not to say race never touched my life personally.  My dad had brown skin, not white.  His last name was Chavez.  My grandpa was basically Archie Bunker.  I'm sure you can imagine how thrilled he was that my mom was dating my dad, let alone that she was going to have his baby.  When my dad died, my mom became a single mommy and during my lifetime she dated, not a lot but she dated.  I never found it weird that she dated a black man...

And then we moved to Coos Bay, Oregon.  I quickly discovered that California norms and morals aren't representative of the rest of the country, not even representative of the west coast.  I mean, Santa Maria is about as conservative as Cali gets and it is, by Cali standards, a relatively small town.  And yet... WOAH Coos Bay opened my eyes some.  I had no idea there were full towns, communities where white was the norm and anything NOT white, not pick up truck driving, not gun toting, not beer drinking, not church going = ridiculed, harassed, threatened.  Somehow I didn't know the KKK still REALLY existed, until more than one resident there told me they had a large population of members locally *blinks*  That was in 1990...  I was 17 years old.

But even now, race conflicts still make the news.  No matter what you think of the Jena 6 case -- a noose hanging on the "white tree" of a high school because black kids sat there is NOT acceptable.  All of these years later, since I was 17 and figuring out that race really was an issue for people -- and those kids younger than I was when I first really saw it, have to deal with that?  I never had to see THAT.  To be afraid of THAT.  To be bullied like that.  I can't even imagine, I thought just discovering hicks at 17 was eye opening.

And well I've seen plenty of WTF?  Democrats in hick'ish states (thank you YouTube) shocking me with their anti-Obama rants claiming to be TRUE die hard Democrats who will vote McCain if Obama is our nominee -- some brave(?) enough to admit that it's because of Obama's RACE... You can't say you're a TRUE die hard Dem and vote against what you believe in if you'll vote against what you believe in due to someone's race...

But yeah, I'm rambling now...

My point is this, despite the fact that race is still an issue, always has been, we now have a black candidate for president... It's history being made before my eyes and it's not only a black candidate, it's one who can win...

I realize Hillary's run was historic as well -- I am, after all, a woman... I don't think it would have been AS historic.  I don't think she's the one to do it for us... But she did open that door for others now.  And the women saying they too will vote against dems even though they're true die hard Dems, offend me... Voting against what you claim to believe in due to who the nominee is -- when THEY most represent what you do claim to believe in?   You shouldn't be allowed to have a voter registration card.

Ok semi real update I suppose since movie update and the artlog on my site weren't exactly real updates.

First I don't think anyone who reads here regularly has any family in China, but if you do... family, friends, whatever, I hope they're ok.  Holy... Watching news this morning was so sad.  So many schools collapsed.  

I was already kind of sad for My bot before bed... And of course there's a wave a storms, Burma/Myanmar (whatever we're supposed to call it).  Seems like the world is having a tough time lately...

Which makes me not want to complain, but I will :P

I wish the MS Brain aliens would take a vacation. I know it's not a full on exacerbation.  Same old symptoms.  Just ugh.  Pain alien isn't controlled as he had been (though in fairness he's not as active as he used to be either so still somewhat controlled, err.. yeah just even a few stabs to my head that make me stop everything to grab it and make me feel all twitchy = feels uncontrolled, heh).   The alien that controls sleep, well he's on crack.  He has be so tired that while talking to MY bot I was so out of it between tired brain fog and pain alien I was correcting words I typed right and then having to correct that and fix which ones I meant to fix in the first place. I can't fall asleep, can only pass out -- today that was at at around 1-2 pm.  Then am so tired and in pain when I wake up I don't feel alert enough to do anything. 

I have been working on painting for Misi but it's been going like this, do some, err looks wrong, erase, redo, err wtf? not right, erase... etc.  Good thing I'm painting it digitally ;)

Viddler appears to like me better than YouTube.  A - I played around with the idea of making videos not art private on YouTube, and setting friends could see (small friends list there) but then I found if you do that you can only set up to 25 friends so if your list gets bigger later too bad AND when you set them that way it spams them with you've been sent a video AND it spams your own outbox, not once with a cc, but for each person you sent it to *blinks*.  YouTube = inefficient.  *nods*    Haven't really used the feature yet, but on Viddler you can comment on a moment of a video so instead of people saying, as they do on YouTube @ 1:22 look for this, they can just comment at that time of the video pointing out whatever right then).  Interesting.  Thankie to Miss A.. for showing me the site, I could tell you her name, but then I'd have to kill you *nods*

Err my wrist hurts.  My eyes hurt.  Waaaaaaahhhhh!  But yeah I ranted enough.  Oh for the first time ever I made money with Google Ad Sense today, w00t! 

Gonna be one of those days.  Been up for hours but haven't felt awake yet at all.

Anyone have an IV of caffeine they'd like to hook me up to? 

*yawn*

Exhaustion alien: 1 Me: *yawn*

I got enough sleep.  It's just exhaustion alien for sure. My eyes are watering from yawning so much, just typing this has me more exhausted, I almost did the grandpa "resting my eyes" thing while typing this even.  You all had a grandpa who did that right?  Just resting my eyes... right while SNORING.  If you're still answering me you're resting your eyes.  If you're snoring or drooling you're asleep! :P

Maybe the fan will help, the thermostat thing said 90 something last night even when on high, it's finally cooled the room down to 78.  Controlling the temps in here have been a bitch when we've already had nearly 100 degree days (over 100  at Disneyland aka Anaheim but more like 95 over here by the beach)  and then a few days later it'd drop by over 30 degrees and be chilly at night.  So the apartment heats up, turn fan on, it cools off finally, then gets cold at night and need heat, turn that on, then BAM hot again, fan on, soon as it cools off apartment again, you guessed it... heh.  Vicious cycle.

The fact that we've already had such hot days makes me think Summer is just days ok maybe weeks away and ohh man, the term hotter than hell comes to mind.   And green trends or not, I WILL have my AC and fan on 24/7 and if they have to be set on make me feel like I'm sitting in a tub of ice they will be :P  

I guess I should try to do something anyway.  Art, read... hmm need energy for everything.  Ugh.  And head hurts some, not pain alien levels but still an ache.  Hrmph.  Oh well I will find something to do to appear productive anyway, though I couldn't follow The Tim Russert show... I couldn't follow POLITICS!  Yeah, one of THOSE days.

I saw this on the news all morning before I slept yesterday, but since now is my erm night, just getting around to posting it...WTF?  This is wrong on so many ways, rant time!

Yeah the guy was a little wordy and probably annoying.  But John Kerry didn't seem to mind.  The way I heard it on the news was that there was actually someone else who was to be given the mic, but this guy asked so they let him.  You clearly hear John Kerry tell the cops that it's ok, he wanted to answer the question.  He posed no threat unless you know talking a lot and having to be asked what your question is, is a threat (most of the full videos I found aren't as good of quality but he does go on and on).  The cops rushed him.  For NO reason.  Kerry wanted to answer him.  Even in the longer videos as they're dragging him away you hear Kerry again saying he wants to answer the question.

The guy at all times tries to show he has no weapons, is no threat, has only a book, and tries to leave when he realizes cops want him gone.  If you're a cop and you have NOTHING on your hand but a college kid, with a book, a mic, and a wordy question, please explain to me where there is a crime.  If he resisted "arrest" so effing what?  I would too.  They had no grounds to arrest him on.  He was all but being attacked BEFORE the taser even came into play.  In fact if a civilian did that to another civilian it would be called assault.  I suppose there could be a disturbing the peace charge of some sort, but I don't even see that.  And while we can't see it all, from the videos I've seen, as they charged him they didn't seem to tell him what he was doing wrong, that they were arresting, him, didn't ask him to be quiet, he was walking away from mics, etc.

Also if you're a TRAINED Police Officer should you not be able to handle such a situation (I still say there wasn't a situation) without such force so early on?  I didn't see any reasonable attempts to get him out.  Just a guy being rushed suddenly without any real warnings, drug around, and then being tasered and apparently being taken to jail and charged. 

Said by me less than a week ago in a post on this very site "Still need to upgrade my gallery but not looking forward to that as something always goes wrong, so umm yeah it can wait."

It waited until tonight... and all I can say is thank goodness I read the directions (which include things like this is how you back up your current gallery for when something goes wrong with the new one) so the old gallery is still up just with a different URL (I already edited the links to it on my journals and website). 

See the backup went so smoothly I thought w00t! This is easier than I thought it would be.  Silly me thought too soon.    Old gallery still working on a new URL.  New Gallery uploaded, zip through the first 4 steps and then... something.  Something about creating a MySQL database.  I asked my host since I didn't want to mess with things I don't know about, MySQL being one of those things.  They told me what to do.  Simple.  Onto step 6.  Or not.  It kept saying I didn't have access to said new database.  Hmm ok reset password in case host had it set to something else.  Still no access.  After hours of emails back and forth between me and my host they asked me for the exact url I was using to set up my gallery with.  This is their reply:

I'm at a loss honestly. I just tried the install myself and there is no
issues there.. I changed your password to "******" as a test as well. I can
connect to the mysql database from the shell fine, so your login is fine as
well. I would suggest going to the gallery2 forums to see if they have any ideas.

Now I'm no computer expert, but when the guys who run these servers for a living say they get the same error, have access to all of it, and can find nothing wrong, I'd say this is a big something.  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I have a togetherrx prescription discount card, as I have no insurance...

It saved money only on the Topamax...

Total cash prices:
$220 for Provigil --- which my neuro described as cocaine without the high.  She said she could see people selling it on the streets as it keeps you awake (a big problem for those with MS and similar illnesses = exhaustion levels so bad you cannot possibly imagine).  The good news? If it works, I am probably eligible to get it free/discounted through NORD aka the company that sent my shots for free and later when Brian's income increased in LA for just shipping costs.  This means in theory I SHOULD meet their income requirements for free/discounted Provigil.  Since Brian being employed at good wages is dependent on so many things, this is handy for if he loses his job suddenly (most get a one week warning) and he has and would continue donating to NORD while he can so we feel better about using the help they offer.

$150 for 6 migraine pills a month (not Imitrex as it doesn't help me, some other one I forget the name of)

$80some for Topamax anti-seizure med I was on before to help keep headaches away (replacing Amitriptyline) and also to help with nerve issues/twitching/tingles.

Keeping track ? $450 for ONE month of meds.  With one of those being discounted.  And one being only 6 pills.
Add in $350 every few months to see the doctor @ the neuro clinic.
And that's just one doctor, they want me to get established with pulmonologist in case Sarc causes me probs later on too.  Add in people crazy enough to see a normal doctor regularly too (I only have a neurologist at this point).

How in the ^%$&@*#() are Americans without insurance supposed to live if they're sick?  I'm not eligible for some things because of Brian's income even though legally he has NO responsibility to pay my bills.  I'm not eligible for other things because I can't keep a full time job.  I'm not eligible for other things as doctors have varying opinions on if I can work or not, all say when my symptoms are bad I cannot keep a job and support myself but ONE says if we keep trying different meds we MIGHT get it under control enough for a full time job while admitting nothing has worked well enough for that at this point.

To quote the Geiko Caveman  "I am just so sick of this"

And in the TMI girlie dept: being a girl sucks because menstrual cycles have this built in "Hey it's a holiday weekend, good time for you to start your period" detector.